So Listen Up 'Cause You Can't Say Nothin'

Today was the 30th anniversary of the release of License to Ill.  I celebrated by playing a bunch of Beastie Boys, and it got me thinking about music, and all the ways that it's influenced me, impacted me, opened doors, shaped my experiences.

I've been playing music for most of my life, and I'm immensely grateful that's the case, but that's not really what I want to talk about today.  Maybe that'll be part II.  Today I want to talk about the times when listening to music affected me purely as a listener, rather than as a performer.

There are two moments in my life that really stand out for me when I think about how listening to music has impacted my life.  The first was when I was maybe 13 years old, and I was sitting in the car, waiting for my sister.  A song came on the radio, and even though I didn't recognise the song, I knew every damn word.  It was a surreal experience, singing along with a song that, as far as I could remember, I'd never heard before.  I was confused and disoriented and thrilled all at once, how was this even possible?  When I got home, I went straight to my parents' record collection, and sure enough, there it was, "Night Moves" by Bob Seger.  I put that album on, and a flood of memories from the earliest years of my life came pouring in.  I'm sure my folks played that record hundreds of times when I was still in diapers, and though I wasn't conscious of it, those songs (along with the Zepplin, Springsteen, Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Simon & Garfunkel) had burrowed deep inside me and were just itching for opportunities to break back out.  That was the first time I understood just what a powerful connection music had with memory, and it's a lesson I happily re-learn every time "Gimme Shelter" comes on the radio and all of a sudden it's summer vacation and I'm sitting in the back seat with my sister while we roll across the prairies, and dammit that drive to Calgary always felt 18 hours long when I was a kid.

The second moment that sticks with me came a couple years later, when I was in high school, and it involves the Beastie Boys, which is why I was thinking about it today.  I got home from school and flipped on MuchMusic, and I couldn't make any sense of what I was seeing or hearing.  It would be wrong of me to say that I liked it, in fact I'm pretty sure I didn't like it at all.  But it was so weird, so different, that it just completely fascinated me.  Every once in a while you experience something that is so far removed from anything you've ever seen before, it blows the doors off your preconceptions, and reveals to you staggering new possibilities.  That's what happened to me the first time I saw the video for "Sabotage".  That video slapped me across the face and made me realise that there was this massive unexplored world that existed outside my realm of experience, a world that I knew NOTHING about.  This was music that didn't get played on the one shitty FM station we had in town, music that wasn't on the vinyl downstairs, or in my CD collection, or on the cassettes in the glove-box.  This wasn't music that was going to be handed to me, it was music I had to go looking for, and I couldn't wait to get started.

Ra-Ra-Ra Road Trip!

So Adam and I ripped up to Edmonton real quick, met up with the Romanowski boys and their lovely wives at Matty's new fried chicken joint, had a few pops, met up with Adam's buddy Riley, and took in the Oilers game.  The game was great, but I'll get to that in a minute, because first I wanna tell you how we got to the game.

We hit up The Pint for some pre-game drinks, where Adam's pal used to be the manager, and we got hooked up with all kinds of free food and booze and what-have-you, which had us all in fine moods.  Then, I suggest that we should be setting off on our walk to the rink, and Riley says "I got us a ride."  So we walk out of the bar and get in a GOT-DANG LIMOUSINE, which drops us off at the front doors of the arena (this was seriously a 4- or 5-block trip, by the way.  If there's one thing better than a ride in a limo, it is a completely unnecessary ride in a limo).  The game was great, Edmonton looked like the better team for most of it, but they came out flat and gave up an early goal, and then they had a stretch where Seguin made them all look ridiculous, and Lehtonen was excellent, and is it just me or has Lucic basically disappeared since they took him off McDavid's line?  Anyway when you add all that up, you get a 3-2 win for the Stars.  Still, it was lots of fun, and that new arena really is gorgeous, 10/10, would recommend.  

After the game it was back to The Pint for more drinks we didn't have to pay for, and then on to another bar that I don't remember the name of, and then some of us got too drunk to be allowed out in public without supervision, so Matt called his wonderful wife Sarah and, sweetheart that she is, she came and rescued us from the horror of being drunk downtown in Edmonton on a beautiful November night.  

Today it was wake up and make the drive back home, not nearly as exciting as yesterday, but at this stage of the game sometimes a lazy day where nothing exciting happens to you is just fine, thank you very much.  Also, I've been fighting this nasty head-cold for over a week now, and it was just a miserable time, and after a night on the town drinking whiskey with the boys, the invaders in my sinuses seem to be in full retreat, so the next time somebody tells you the cure is chicken soup and bed rest, you tell them I say hell with that nonsense, try rye and ginger.

resume transmission

Gonna start putting stuff here again.  It's been a while.

I'm also gonna go ahead and assume that if you're here, you have at least passing knowledge of who I am, so rather than beginning at the beginning I'll just pick things up from here, and you'll all just have to muddle along and do your best to keep up.

Violet and I have been cohabiting for nearly a month now, and it has been smooth, we spent enough time together before now that things really aren't all that different, and it's only for a little while, since she'll be leaving for Germany soon (pause for laughter).  I'm still plugging away as a professional walker, and we're just getting to the time of year where that starts to be an unpleasant prospect, but in all honesty I've found the winters much easier since I started working outside than I ever did when I was employed indoors.  That might not make sense to you, but even when you're freezing your tits off, getting out and helping yourself to some exercise and fresh air does wonders for your outlook on things, and at least if I'm working outside in the winter I get to see the sun for more than 5 minutes a day, none of this "go to work when it's still dark" and "get home, it's already dark" nonsense.  Dodgeball and curling are keeping me busy, dodgeball is most definitely a young man's game, and I don't move as well as I did even a couple years ago, and the shoulder takes longer to recover than it used to, but I'm still holding my own against kids who were born in the mid-90s, and the post-game beers taste as good as they ever did, so why not keep doing it as long as I'm able, yeah?

So, for the first time in the history of blogs, the Leafs are actually worth tuning in for.  It's early days of course, and small sample size and all that, but man so far Matthews and Marner and the rest all look like the real deal, and more importantly they've been fun to watch every night.  The team is full of guys who can move the puck and skate like hell, and skill all the way down the lineup, just a complete 180 from the idiocy of Nonis and Carlyle and grit and heart and leadership and size being more important than you know, actual ability.  Of course they're going to do things like blow 4-goal leads, they're all just babies, but you know what else they do?  They get 4-goal leads, and that's a nice place to be starting  from.  Freddie Andersen needs to be better, I had a conversation this summer regarding the trade, and I said he was an "average NHL goalie" and I still think that's true, but ya gotta remember that's not an insult, being an average goalie in the NHL still means you're probably one of the 20-25 best in the world, and on any kind of well-built, well-coached team, average goaltending should be more than enough most nights, just look at Chris Osgood.

Hey!

My friend Rilla reminded me that I have a blog, so this is me using it again. Lots has happened since the last time I wrote in this thing, so let me explain...no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Rhinkeberger finally finished its' album, bizarrely titled "Dust My Clock", and it feels great to have it done. I'm happy with the way it sounds, and people seem to like it, so yay. Basically every person that's heard it has said, "This is way better than I expected", which I never quite know how to take, because I have no way of knowing what they were expecting, but whatevers. I like it, and if you don't, then Track #8 is for you.

I quit my job to spend the summer at the lake. Not an easy choice, but I'm comfortable with it, and I'm excited about the opportunities that walk hand-in-hand with freedom.

I bought a totally bitchin' bicycle, and I love it the most. I used to only ride my bike when I needed to get someplace, but now I ride my bike even if I have nowhere to go. It is super-mega-funtimes, and his name is Cycle Jackson.

I had a birthday, and I celebrated with food and drink and friends, and it made me immensely happy.

There's probably lots of other great stuff that's happened to me, but it's literally impossible for me to remember even half of the stuff that happens to me in an average day, so this is all you get for now. If I remember some other stuff, maybe I'll tell you about it.

Bad Mood Update

I recovered my bank card, and my face has mostly gone back to normal, so I'm doing much better emotionally, so yay. However, this has been balanced out by the unfortunate fact that I seem to be doing worse physically. Stupid 'flu season.

shut out with you butt out,

T.

Eff Ehm Ell

In the last four days, the following things have occured:

I slipped on the ice while running across the road, and sprained my ankle.

One of the wheels fell off my computer chair.

The front of one of my dresser drawers came off in my hand.

I had holes drilled into my face by a dentist.

I lost my debit card.

The extension cord that I bought to plug my car in doesn't reach the road from the house (which actually doesn't matter, because when I went to plug in my car I noticed that the plug for my block heater had been ripped off, so I couldn't plug my car in anyway. So I need to replace the cord on my block heater).

If anyone wants to stop by and kick me square in the balls, now would be a good time. It's a good thing that I'm single, because if I had a girlfriend, she probably would have dumped me, because that's the kind of week it's been.

I'm going to crawl under my covers with a bottle of Kraken, and I'm not coming out until the universe stops fucking with me. Y'all can kiss my pasty, pimpled ass.

Ombudsman

The word "ombudsman" comes from old Norse, and it means "representative".

You know what that means? That means that when you try to be gender-neutral by saying "Ombudsperson", you sound like a stupid asshole. The "-man" at the end isn't a reference to gender. It's like trying to make "menopause" gender-neutral by saying "personopause". Jackass.

The Future of the Music Video

Since MTV and MuchMusic have bailed on showing videos in favour of "reality" tv, which gets better ratings because people are complete fucktards, music videos have moved online. This has opened up some fascinating new possibilities.

This is the future.

http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com/

HAHA!

Rhinkeberger vs Recording

This past weekend, Rhinkeberger headed into the studio to record it's first album. A guy named Chris Douglas did the recording for us, out at his studio on a farm just outside of Colonsay (that's co-LON-say, not COLON-say), and while I'm not an expert in these matters, I think he did an outstanding job of making us sound at least kind of ok. The whole process was a lot of fun, but by Sunday afternoon, I was completely exhausted, and I didn't even have to do much of anything the 2nd day. We're still a long way from hearing the final product, but I'm cautiously optimistic that we may wind up with something resembling a decent record.

We headed out late Friday night, set everything up, messed around a little just to see how everything worked, and then got wasted and stayed up until 5:00 in the morning, because that's what Rock Stars do. We started recording for reals after breakfast on Saturday, around 12:30-1:00. We managed to hammer out all eight songs on Saturday, which left Sunday free for touch-ups and backup vocals and stuff like that. Arlan spent about 10 minutes trying to get a cat to meow into the mic so he could use it during his bass solo, but the cat was un-co-operative, so Sam, showing off his musical versatility, made the cat noises himself.

The single biggest hurdle on Sunday was probably Jeff'a guitar solo on "Fire". Maybe I'm a bad person, but I thought it was hilarious that he had so much trouble coming up with a solo for a song that HE WROTE. But to his credit, I think the solo turned out awesome, so yay for Jeff, he did a good job.

Highlight of the weekend? Driving to the hockey rink in Colonsay on Saturday night for Rink Burgers and fries. I gave them a B+, not bad for a town with "colon" in the name.

Bye!

T.

Space News!

In crazy, insane, terrifying space news, THE SUN COULD EXPLODE ANY TIME. I'm WAY more worried about this than I am about swine flu. I'm just sayin'.

Kickin' it with your dick in it,

T.

Rhinkeberger

Rink Burger changed it's name to Rhinkeberger (you say it the same, you just spell it differently), and we're playing at the Roxy again next week! Yay! But if you're reading this, I'm betting you know about that already, so let's talk about something else.

I'm going to see Louis CK tomorrow in Edmonton. Awesome! Louis CK gets my vote for Best Living Stand-Up Comic. He's about a million times better than Dane Cook, who's kind of a hack and is only famous because girls think he's cute. Louis CK is the Beatles, and Dane Cook is the Monkees, OK? OK. I'm sorry if you like Dane Cook...I'm not sorry that I offended you, I'm actually just sorry that you like Dane Cook.

Aside from those two things, I can't think of anything else wonderful or exciting that has happened to me lately, at least nothing I want YOU to know about. So get lost, would ya?

Slip out with your tip out,

T.

Punk Band

Tonight, "Rink Burger" played its first show. We played the open stage at the Roxy, and we rocked pretty hard. I was pretty jacked up after the show, and I'm still a little wired from the adrenaline and the thrill of being on stage. This was my first time ever playing a real gig, and it went way better than I anticipated. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be, and while I realize that it's hard for me to be objective, I thought we sounded great.

The audience (made up entirely of my friends, thanks guys) loved us. But even better than the response from the crowd was the response from the dudes in charge at the venue. I'll keep y'all posted on when our next show is going to be, but if we're lucky, it might actually be a paying gig. Being a rock star is totally awesome!

Freak out with your Sheik out,

T.

Go-Girl

I should get one of these for my boat...

In other news, NASA plans to BOMB THE FUCKING MOON. Holy Shit!

It snowed today, for the first time since it stopped being winter. This time of year is always hard for me, because I don't like winter too much. The weather keeps me inside, and I never see the sun, and all the pretty girls are made androgynous by their winter clothes...it's bad every which way. I'm going up to the lake for Thanksgiving, which will be really nice, but I'll have to take my boat out of the water this weekend, which is pretty much the saddest day of the year for me.

But this time of year is bad enough without sitting around being all mopey, so here is some good news: The punk band has a show next week! That's AWESOME! It will be our first show ever! But we still don't have a name, so if any of you out there can think of something good that we should be called, let me know.

Stay warm and dry,

T.

Cool!

THIS is frigging cool.

T.

tired

too tired to say much. need sleep. did I tell you I'm in a punk band? the band is awesome. here's a comic that is pretty much sums up the last 9 years in the U.S.A. "Fallen Earth" is pretty cool, if you're into that kind of thing. If you decide to give it a try, let me know and we can go shoot mutants together, or something.

good night.

T.

A little Sumpin'

Here's a little sumpin' for the three people who still check this thing...

Have a round, firm day.

T.

Pando

80000 years is really, really old.


T.

Punk Band

Tonight, we had our first punk-band practice. It was totally awesome. We worked on a couple of covers, and a couple of originals, and if we can just find a hot chick to play the guitar, we'll pretty much be the best punk band ever. Contact me if you are a hot chick who knows how to play the guitar and wants to be in a punk band.


T.

Don't Care

I don't care if he was crazy as hell, or what problems he had. You watch this and tell me that he didn't do what he did better than anyone.