Thursday, November 30, 2006


This made me laugh, perhaps more than it should have. But the use of the language is just so...elegant.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Back home

I drove through a blizzard for what felt like 30 hours, though it was more like 16, and my flight home was delayed so bad that I missed my connecting flight in Calgary, despite that I was scheduled to have a 2-hour layover. But the machinations of O.M.W. were not enough to keep me from either getting to, or getting home from, Vancouver in one piece. This felt like one whirlwind of a trip, but nothing too fucked-up happened this go-round, which proves that Marcia was to blame for the craziness on the last trip. There's no disputing it. It's science.

I had an Idea for my cooking show. Here it is: I cook a turkey, and then turn it into Turkey Chilli. Then I get some turkey-weiners, and...TURKEY CHILLI DOGS! I'm psyched.

I also spent some time thinking about what people read in the bathroom. Some people, of course, read nothing at all. I've never been one to keep reading material in the can, but I think that what people read on the shitter can be a window into a little part of their soul. The part that they use to go to the bathroom, maybe, but still.

I started thinking about this while I was on my trip, because I was in a couple of different bathrooms that had some interesting literary choices sitting on the back of the toilet. My roommate keeps copies of "Maxim" in the crapper, which is a pretty standard choice, I think. Rob had one of those "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" books, as well as a copy of Scientific American, which I wasn't expecting. Rob doesn't win the "most surprising choice" award, though. That goes to my buddy Pawel. I walked into his bathroom and found a copy of "The Essential Koran", so I read a passage about Angels coming to lay the smack down if people didn't behave while I was taking a dump. I mean, the passage was about behaving ALL THE TIME, not just while I personally do my business, though it would be nice if you would all show a little respect while I'm relieving myself.

In other news, I finished reading "American Scream", Bill Hicks' biography, while I was on my trip. It was pretty good, but I must admit that it wasn't quite what I had hoped for; maybe it's just because I already knew so many of the stories found in the book, I dunno. Still a damn good read, whether you're a fan of Bill Hicks or not. And really, how could you not be?


Friday, November 24, 2006

On the Road Again

For those of you who don't know, I volunteered to drive Rob's new car out to Vancouver for him. The car was in Moose Jaw, so I hopped on the bus today, went to the Jaw, picked up the car, and drove it back to Saskatoon. Tomorrow, I'll be going as far as Edmonton, where I'll see my Edmonton buddies again, and then on Sunday, I'll be back on the coast. I'll be there until Wednesday, when I fly home.

I'm excited about the whole deal, actually. I like the coast, particularly the island, and even though I was just there for a week, I'll enjoy being there again. Also, it's colder than dink outside right now, (for the record, "cold as dink" is -25 C, so anything below that is "colder than dink"), and the current temperature in Van right now is... +2! When the weather gets really bad, I dread the prospect of leaving the house, and feeling that way makes me miserable. I know I've bitched about this before, but still.

Anywho, I'm off on another adventure! Yay! I'll leave you with a picture from this summer, since pictures of the summer cheer me up immensely.

That's me drinking in Katie's boat, and though you may not be able to tell, I couldn't be happier.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Mike Wilson

Since Katie asked, I'll tell you the story of Mike Wilson. The story starts like this.

Marcia and I drove from Saskatoon through the Rockies, where we ran into some very bad weather. We crawled along slippery mountain roads behind a long line of large trucks going roughly 30 kph for what felt like 3 hours. This made the trip take much longer than we had anticipated, so we stopped at a rest area just outside of Salmon Arm to catch a couple of hours of sleep.

At roughly 4:30 in the morning, I was woken up by this blonde woman knocking on the driver-side window. I rolled down said window, and the woman said, "Hi. Are you Mike Wilson?"

Now, you need to remember something here. I was fast asleep 5 seconds ago, and I really didn't have any sort of grasp on this situation. So the best I could manage was a confused, "What? No, sorry, I'm not Mike Wilson". I realize now that this was a mistake. Why was she looking for someone she had never met before in the middle of the night at a rest stop in the middle of goddamn nowhere? It was probably for something illegal, and my curiosity is just KILLING me.

Anyway, once she realized that I was not who she was looking for, she got a little flustered. It seemed like she actually expected me to be Mike Wilson. I had trouble making sense of this at the time, and it really doesn't make any more sense now. The mystery woman mumbled something about Mike being from Saskatchewan, and how she noticed our license plates, and then she hopped in her car and drove away.

I know this sounds like a dream, and I would be tempted to doubt the truthiness of this story myself, but Marcia was there and she remembers it exactly the way I do, so there you go.

Marcia thought that the woman was a prostitute, but I don't. I think it was a drug deal, and "Mike Wilson" was probably some sort of code. I should have responded with something like, "Yeah, I'm Mike Wilson. You must be Mary Jane." That would have made this story way more interesting. But like I said, I was pretty out of it, and now I'll never know for sure.

And that, my friends, is the story of Mike Wilson.


Monday, November 20, 2006

My Trip

As I'm sure most of you already know, I took a trip to the coast to see some football and visit some friends. Marcia and I drove out to Vancouver, I watched the 'Riders lose, and then I spent the next week relaxing, drinking, and having as good a time as possible. My time on the island was too short, and it was hard to come home.

Maybe later I'll tell you the story of "Mike Wilson", or relate some of my hazy memories of the Western Final, but I can't right now. I'm too tired. For now, let's just say that I'm home safe, I had an awesome time, and I'd like to thank all of the friends who were kind enough to give me a place to sleep on my travels.


Friday, November 17, 2006

A peck from a chick

I think I might be in love with this girl.


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Pizza Club

I hosted a Pizza Club meeting tonight. It's always good to see the old roomies. It's been nice, getting a chance to catch up with all the old gang over the past week or so. I don't even remember the last time that all the dudes from Randy's old Saturday-night game were all in the same place. You don't realize how much you miss people until you see them again. Kind of an unfortunate reality, isn't it?

The sad fact is that most of the people that I used to hang out with regularly have gone on to bigger and better things, or at least the same sorts of things in bigger and better places. It's got me thinking about how long I'll be content to stay in Saskatoon. I don't mean to complain, because I've got good friends here, but I've got good friends in lots of places. I've no serious attachments to this place, no job or significant other to keep me here...

The problem, of course, is that there's nowhere I really want to go, and nothing I really want to do when I get there. I've always stood firmly behind a "do whatever makes you happy" philosophy; it may be selfish and irresponsible, but that doesn't bother me, and it's never steered me wrong before. It's just that I can't seem to find anything to fit that particular bill right now. It's not like I don't have any options, it's just that none of them seem all that appealing.

Maybe the foot of snow we got today has me wishing for greener pastures. Or maybe I'm not doing a good enough job of making use of the mountains of spare time I have lying around right now. I dunno.

I can't shake the feeling that it's going to be a long winter.


Sunday, November 05, 2006


For those of you in caves or under rocks, the Roughriders beat the Stampeders 30-21 today. That's awesome, because I've got tickets to the Western Final in Vancouver, and now I get to see Saskatchewan play. YAHOO!

In other news, Sky and Terri got married yesterday, and there was a party. I had a really good time, but I may have had a little too much to drink. Totally unlike me, I know. But it wasn't my fault; the bar at the reception was selling shots of 18-year Glenfiddich for $1.50, so I was drinking doubles like a madman. Now I feel a little under the weather, but that's not going to stop me from going over to Suzie's and playing boardgames with the Saskatoon ex-pats who were in town for the wedding.

Jump it out with your trumpet out,


Thursday, November 02, 2006

Don't Forget the Joker

This link made me more happy than I've been in a long time.

That's the way I like it. I don't want to live forever.