Back home

I drove through a blizzard for what felt like 30 hours, though it was more like 16, and my flight home was delayed so bad that I missed my connecting flight in Calgary, despite that I was scheduled to have a 2-hour layover. But the machinations of O.M.W. were not enough to keep me from either getting to, or getting home from, Vancouver in one piece. This felt like one whirlwind of a trip, but nothing too fucked-up happened this go-round, which proves that Marcia was to blame for the craziness on the last trip. There's no disputing it. It's science.

I had an Idea for my cooking show. Here it is: I cook a turkey, and then turn it into Turkey Chilli. Then I get some turkey-weiners, and...TURKEY CHILLI DOGS! I'm psyched.

I also spent some time thinking about what people read in the bathroom. Some people, of course, read nothing at all. I've never been one to keep reading material in the can, but I think that what people read on the shitter can be a window into a little part of their soul. The part that they use to go to the bathroom, maybe, but still.

I started thinking about this while I was on my trip, because I was in a couple of different bathrooms that had some interesting literary choices sitting on the back of the toilet. My roommate keeps copies of "Maxim" in the crapper, which is a pretty standard choice, I think. Rob had one of those "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" books, as well as a copy of Scientific American, which I wasn't expecting. Rob doesn't win the "most surprising choice" award, though. That goes to my buddy Pawel. I walked into his bathroom and found a copy of "The Essential Koran", so I read a passage about Angels coming to lay the smack down if people didn't behave while I was taking a dump. I mean, the passage was about behaving ALL THE TIME, not just while I personally do my business, though it would be nice if you would all show a little respect while I'm relieving myself.

In other news, I finished reading "American Scream", Bill Hicks' biography, while I was on my trip. It was pretty good, but I must admit that it wasn't quite what I had hoped for; maybe it's just because I already knew so many of the stories found in the book, I dunno. Still a damn good read, whether you're a fan of Bill Hicks or not. And really, how could you not be?

T.